Pro Choice

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These are voices of women, so when I read, that someone wants to shut down the only place known to offer affordable pregnancy crisis solutions, I become sad. Aren’t women allowed to make a choice, on what happens to their bodies? Should they be victimized? Should they be forced to motherhood? Should they go look for dodgy means to take care of their problem? My heart bleeds, with women, for I am one, and being left without an option is overwhelming.

 

 

The first time when I realized I may be carrying his baby was scary. 

See I was on a pill, and believe you me I think we used a rubber or maybe he tried that game of pulling out! But what I do know for sure is I was on a contraceptive method.

You’d assume being pregnant a second time would make things easier!? But is anything unplanned ever easy? So the second time… it was one of those safe days… the calendar is sometimes accurate, it is accurate especially when the period is coming. I used it as a planning method, but I am not the careless type so I also popped the e-pill. We were not on the best of terms but you know how a random evening and you two meet up, and your libido can’t let you breathe, so you agree to have a few minutes of fun just to release the pressure?

This one time I missed my period then realized I was pregnant, 2 months down. I was scared because I didn’t know who the father was. Sometimes one is allowed to be reckless right?

 

It was my final year in campus, I lived with my boyfriend then, we loved each other, he is my husband now, but you know sometimes you forget to use the rubber then miss a single pill and think you’d make up for it by taking one as soon as you remember? I wasn’t ready to be a mum; he too wasn’t ready to be a dad.

 

My best friend called off her engagement, a month later she discovered she was pregnant for the guy she had called off the engagement with. You can only imagine how bad she felt, she knew she would never go back to him, he had started being abusive.

 

I have three daughters; my husband wants a son… I know… three is already a huge number for us; I am doing my masters as well. I can’t put it on hold again to mother another kid. I know I sound selfish, but already taking care of the three is overwhelming financially. And you know we can’t use a condom, when married, and the fact that he wants another baby, I can’t use contraception.

 

My brother raped me, my uncle helped him rape me, I tried telling my aunt and grandma but no one believes me. I got used to being raped I started enjoying it… Call me sick or whatever you’d want but sometimes, you learn to enjoy pain. So I discovered I was pregnant, and I couldn’t pin whose baby I was carrying. I had just been called to start my tertiary education and I knew I’d be leaving the hole I called home for good.

 

The first time, the guy I was seeing recommended I go see a doctor that would help me handle the situation. And surely he did, he helped me handle the situation.

The second time, well… this was a harder time for me, but a friend recommended me to someone. I went talked to the lady and she helped me weigh all my options. She was like a big sister and she never judged me.

 

I know I have loved the thrill that comes about with recklessness, so I just sort for help on the internet and got a pill that I could get from the counter of a chemist. Since I had no prescription, I couldn’t get it at the normal price. I added some money and the guy at the counter told me how I’d use it to terminate the pregnancy. Let’s just say, not everyone gets a second chance. I bled severely, experienced death, but managed to come out of it alive. I wish I had sort professional help.

 

Two people in campus living on a shoe string budget, so after asking around we got referred to some doctor, not far away from where our hostels were. The building the doctor was at, was a shady one, no painting, no signage of the hospital name or the name of the doctor. We needed a solution and he charged us 3,000 to take care of our little problem. 3,000 that cost me my womb, 3,000 that nearly cost me my life.

 

I explained my predicament to my gynecologist, I love that woman, and she acted as a mother, advised me and gave me some pills, as she watched over me. I just couldn’t be a mother of 4 yet. Not yet.

Ever imagined raising a bastard baby, out of wedlock and as a result of rape? The thoughts that flooded my mind, how does an 18 year old, whose been subjected to rape for close to 5 years become a mother?  I met a lady, whom I shared my predicament with and she referred me to a doctor. A doctor who sat me down and talked to me, a doctor who helped me take care of the problem and who has been walking with me, helping me heal all the emotional wounds.

In a word where freedom is limited, and the option of making a choice is not guaranteed, have we really evolved as a country? Why are we constantly fighting for equal rights and not everyone is being given the right to choose?

 

4 Comments Add yours

  1. charmony777 says:

    Do you think that abortion is the only solution in these scenarios? Why is adoption not a solution?

    Like

    1. Junglegarl says:

      Not really, but the country I am in doesn’t have”good” adoption policies. One has no idee on where to brgib

      Like

      1. charmony777 says:

        What do you mean by good adoption policies? Can you elaborate?

        Like

      2. Junglegarl says:

        Adoption in my country is so bulky so anyone who’d want to give a child away has no easy access

        Like

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