Illusions

“This isn’t right…”

“What isn’t?”

“Us…”

“Wow, this was short lived. Not even 6 months have passed and you are calling it quits… Just wow!Have a good day!”

 

That’s how I began my morning. A text from this person I have been seeing!

Truth be told, I didn’t like like him at first, but you know how it gets… When you are lonely, it’s cold and there is this being whom you are compatible with.

The good looking guy lurking in your inbox or messenger or whatever app you use. Or the stranger you met while in a matatu, or in a line at the embassy waiting for your visa to be processed, or that guy you met when you were out with your friends and you exchanged numbers and the conversation has been going on well and this night, when you are all cold not forgetting lonely, you two decide to catch up. Something decent, like coffee, or a movie, or an open mic night or that play that’s on re-run… you know how these kind of things work. Especially when you have no one else to talk to and the weather is acting up!

I will call him James, okay Peter sounds better, no it’s Steve! His name is Steve!

Steve is tall, good looking and trying to grow a moustache or something close to that. Steve is in thirties, early thirties. Steve talks a lot; he is also fun to hang around! He is funny!

Steve forgot to mention that he lived with a woman, who is his wife, and they have a baby, two to be exact! Steve left all this out until this morning.

Yesterday we were out, there is this joint that serves really good wine, (not frontera or cellar cask or drostdy hof) what most bars serve by the glass. There they serve other brands better brands (I think) those with lovely names and they are not from South Africa but from France, Italy or Spain.

 

I am no wine lover but… I enjoyed the wines served there and the lessons Steve would offer on how to distinguish the flavors.

We had a good time and a few minutes to midnight he said he had to rush home, he’d received a message that something was amiss. Little did I know, Steve was rushing home as this was the latest we’d stayed out on a week day! Guy had a curfew from the wife.

 

When I got home I called him, to ask if everything was okay, but he didn’t respond so I texted him and ended my text with “dream with me handsome” and added the xoxo. I have no idea what “xoxo” means but it looked cute at the end of the text.

 

Steve didn’t respond till this morning when I woke up to “sorry I didn’t pick your call last night”. Followed by, “you are a great chille” to “this isn’t right” text.

Come to think about it Steve doesn’t suit him, nice guys are called Steve, and this one is not a nice guy, he is a jerk!! So we call him Jack!

 

I met Jack sometime in February, when I was having some rough phase! Jack was a decent looking guy, who had a unique dress code.  Always in a pair of jeans a shirt and a sweater. The listening type, caring, concerned type. The type that would shoot you with a random, “I’m thinking about you” text or “can we meet for an hour for lunch.” Not the kind that would ask you to join him and his boys for road trips or a drink up or a house party! That wasn’t Jack.

 

Our first meet up was at a shabby joint that served “sheesha” and people played pool. A nice casual set up that made the first date OK. No formality et Al.

We talked all kind of things laughed, played a game of pool, it was a fun night to say the least!

 

Jack was a gentleman, and he didn’t try to kiss me or hold me in any inappropriate manner, you know how these Nairobi goons act like. Jack was nothing like them.

Jack preferred to call and didn’t like texting that much. I to some extent prefer phone calls and when we can hold a phone conversation for more than an hour then you are my perfect match!! We’d have late night conversations, those video calls that leave you all mushy and happy…

 

Jack loved to read, he always had a novel with him every time we’d meet. And on one of our “dates” we went to a bookshop. He chose a book for me, what he preferred reading and I chose one for him. I enjoyed his pick, because I read it under a week. That’s how compatible I knew we were.

 

Jack loved the theatre, loved to watch plays. Jack and I had a lot in common.

I was excited I’d met my perfect match! I didn’t tell my friends about Jack, you know how when things are going so well and you don’t want to tell anybody because they may just Jinx it…

 

Jack was a jerk!! Because in the 3 months that I had known him, known him in other ways, not just in holding long conversations, but known him more intimately, he hadn’t mentioned anything about him having a family, or him being a dad, or him living with a woman.

 

He had forgotten that he had a wife as he talked of how he’d want to make an honest woman out of me! Of how he’d want to make me his… You know those sweet nothings these men say, the ones that make your panty all wet and your nipples a tad too hard? The nothings that make you re-live your first night in his arms? Those were the things Jack the jerk said!

 

How do people deal with heartbreaks again?

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4 thoughts on “Illusions

  1. Ma’am… You write so beautifully!!

    I wish this is just fiction, because of it is real this is sad!! And Steve come Jack should rot somewhere!! You don’t lead someone like that then leave them like that with a text!

    This are times I’d wish him all bad fortunes!

    Keep on writing… Your life/ mind is unique

    Like

  2. The wisest words I ever heard, the same ones I live by, are “Beware those instant connections”

    This piece stirs up feelings I haven’t felt in a long time, it feels great to go back a bit. Is it normal to miss the feeling of love and love lost? But anyway, better the memory than the terrible experience, I’m eager as always to more of your writings

    Like

    • I think what is not normal is not feeling these things or allowing yourself not to feel them. I totally agree with those wise words. These instant connections are not anything to go by.

      Welcome to my insanity world!! the writing make it sane LOL

      Liked by 1 person

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