I have secrets, deep secrets! Secrets, I carry with my thighs!
“Have you ever been with a man? No… No… Not in that way but the other kind, like, let a man touch you, touch you in those places? Has a man taken you to bed?”
It is my time to tell lies.
But how can a truth be a lie? I have never been with a man, I never allowed him to touch me, but he did, he touched me, he bedded me!
”Have you ever kissed a man? No not on the cheeks, or the peck on the lips, like, like kiss a man?”
How do I tell her, I never kissed him! I’d never have kissed him. Tongue against my chest you can imagine the rest, how he pushed it down my throat, the next thing I know, was a horrifying grip, his hands were cold, maybe like his heart, I cringed, I cried.
“I hate kissing, my first time wasn’t anything to fancy.”
“I loved my first time, I think I did,” My mind goes into some form of trance, I never hear what else she said, “how was your first time?”
I have secrets, deep secrets, secrets I carry with my thighs. These secrets I carry with me, and they haunt me every now and then, a gentle touch brings memories to life, sometimes I try to forget them!
“Have you ever numbed your memories? Do you ever lose sleep? Especially on nights when the sky is clear? Times when thunderstorms are nowhere near sight? Do the voices in your head sound so loud, do you relieve the nightmares of your dream over and over?”
“how was your first time?”
I have secrets, deep secrets, secrets I carry with my thighs.
Have you ever prayed for death? Not on someone else but on yourself? Do you really want to hear how my first time was? Do you really want to know if I have ever been with a man? Will you judge me? Will you tell me, like the rest that it was all my fault? I have never been with a man!
We were playing a game, catch me if you can!
Tears streaming from my eyes my life has been a lie,
I felt pain, it wasn’t a scrape,
My thighs were on fire, something must have been set ablaze,
For a moment, time stood still, I still could hear the screams.
I close my eyes, and my heart beats,
He poked me, to make sure I’d feel it,
Just before he slid his hand beneath me,
I have secrets, deep secrets, secrets buried beneath my thighs!