To my readers,
Today I am writing you a letter. It is a new month, a month most call the month of love. Pictures of two happy people will be flaunted on the gram, and some will wonder what life, love has to offer.
So today, I share my discovery, discovery of self love. I have not yet found my one, but I am happy loving myself first, because for so long, I have not loved my self, but I have searched for a love that I couldn’t give to self.
He was born on the 7th day of january, i was born on the tenth day of the second month, the day of love is on the 14th day of february, and he died on the 19th day of the second month.
How two months so close, can bring so much joy, happines, sadness and tears i still cannot understand.
He was the first man i loved, a man i loved so much, and i knew he loved me equally as much, his gentle hugs and harsh words, could tell all, that his love, his love was the best, one so genuine and true.
And the past six years, i have been searching for a love that only him could give, i hoped that the ones i met would offer just half of his.
So in my search, i met some, who looked at me, and never saw this pretty face and smile, they saw hips and beneath the hips, they saw thighs, thighs they longed to touch, to part, yet he, the man I first loved never looked at me that way.
In my search for a love half as his, i let them touch, i let them part these thighs, and i, with all my yearning and desire to feel loved,let them in, i was moist to them, and hurriedly they pushed in, a few strokes before they said, they loved me not.
He would have turned sixty-one this year, and i will be celebrating, his seventh year with the angels, as I celebrate my first year of fully loving myself.
I have turned away my back, from seconds of happiness derived from pleasures of the body, and that’s when I realised, that to be loved, does not mean to quench the desires of skin.
I have grown to know, that I only receive as much as I give, so moments I let lust come along the way, those are the moments I deprived my self much.
I have opened my eyes, to the fact that the tongue will deceive, and the choice to believe those soothing words lies within you.
So as February comes along, the month of love, let’s not search for a love that few can give, through a majority, let us give it to self first, and in equal measure we will receive it.