My thoughts…


Just from the shower, I need one of this, nights like these, when everything is hot including the sheets that i spread today, normally they are cold and I curl in a ball most nights to get some warmth and some sweet dreams, sweet I know cause I hardly remember the good moments but the bad ones, that’s why when I wake up and I don’t remember my dream I assume it was a sweet happy dream.

Today everything is hot, my cheeks are red, my red hair is soft from sweat. I think I have a fever, or something close to it. The house is hot as well, the windows have some sort of steam. My breathe is warm it warms everything even this glass of cold water I am holding. I am burning, burning with a feeling and this feeling seems to be burning everything in my surrounding. I shifted to the couch thinking that it would be cold, but I was wrong the cushions have the same heat, seems me putting them out to dry with the sun had an effect. There is some physics and chemistry happening, this reactions am getting today… Sigh!!

It is a few minutes after one, it is the a.m so the night skies are still dark, no ray of the rising sun, or a moon for this case.

I showered with cold water, but as it rushed down my skin, it was warm, with shades of hot as the water touched my feet. I am developing a fever I tell myself. I walk to the kitchen cabinet and pop a paracetamol tab, that should help, I convince myself… The lies I tell self, but as I take it with the cold water in the glass I am holding, the tab feels hot and I drop it, and the glass follows suite, as if they have been commanded to drop.
The glass makes a shrieking noise… I hate noise more so at such hours when everything is peaceful, apart from my mind…

I walk and turn on the stereo, the noises from within are loud and unfriendly I need something softer, something that can soothe my mind and probably lull me to sleep.

I should probably grab a book, and try read myself to sleep, but then again, the heat, too much… I pace up and down the room, and finally walk out to the balcony, the soft blows of the wind should work some magic…

I take a deep breath, my nosetrills hurt, hurt so much that I feel like am choking, I sneeze, walk back to the room, and here I am writing about this night full of heat…

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