I am sorry…

I have always wanted to write you a letter, one that am sure you will never read, but i do hope and pray that the stars and skies will create an opportunity and that you will come across this letter.

I did everything like the rest, i was afraid of standing out, I feared being alone, so i let you have your way, and i am sorry, sorry for all the things you did wrong and i was okay with them.

i am sorry:

sorry i wasn’t she,

the maiden in red heels,

the one who wears skimpy dresses,

those that hug her bum,

and exposing her full bosom.

i am sorry:

sorry i wasn’t good enough,

that i let my stretch marks define me,

that i couldn’t add a tongue piercing,

that i had become lazy in our haven.

i am sorry:

sorry that  i drunk too much tea,

instead of the wine you’d always offer to buy,

that i preferred nights in and not those loud nights out,

that i would no longer dance to “the” secular music.

i am sorry:

that i forgot to buy  those fancy bras,

that my lingerie never matched,

that those thongs would always hurt my ass,

that the only definition of sexy i knew was my hair tied in a bun.

i am sorry:

sorry on your behalf,

that what you considered a romantic night(date),

was taking me to the local pub and buy me a couple of beers,

that us doing a movie night was next to impossible,

i am sorry:

sorry  that when you tried to date me,

i was naive; never expected much,

just carry a packet of condoms and we good,

i am sorry:

sorry that i didn’t demand much,

that i never asked to be taken for picnics,

Maybe boat riding or just go watch a few plays,

i am sorry:

sorry that i was always for the idea

“out of town with the boys”

that was the epitome of a romantic gate away.

i am sorry:

sorry i didn’t ask for too much,

that i just tried to be normal.

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